Scottish Mumpreneur Network talks to Jo Scard Co Author of The Working Mothers Survival Guide. A practical, realistic, down-to-earth and entertaining guide for all working women who want to have babies but keep their careers on track too written by two working mums.
It’s true—once you have kids you’ll wonder what you used to do with your time. But while life is about to get a whole lot busier,it will never be better.
Welcome to the Mums’ Club. Enjoy it, enjoy your children, enjoy doing all those things you haven’t done since you were a child. Don’t waste time looking over your shoulder at the next mum who appears to have it all. She is just as fallible as the rest of us.
In fact, the words ‘Supermum’ and ‘guilt’ should be banned! A supermum doesn’t exist and guilt shouldn’t.
Life is about choices and compromises and challenges, and once you have children those factors are even greater. A supermum would be one who handles all these perfectly. We all think we’ve met her—either at mothers’ group or sitting behind the boss’s desk. But trust us, she’s an illusion.
Every mum struggles, every mum has moments when she questions what on earth she’s doing and why—why the house is a wreck or the kids are screaming or your sex life is but a distant memory. Then throw into the mix the demands of a job and the logistics of childcare and you find your time stretched ever further.
We’re so worried about what other people think, particularly other mums, that we forget the only opinion that counts is our own child’s.
And we can be our own worst enemies. We all want to do everything perfectly, but sometimes we just can’t. We are way too
harsh on ourselves. We feel guilt no matter what we do—guilty because we work too hard, guilty because we don’t work, guilty because we don’t have enough time. AHHHH!
Let’s take a breath, give ourselves a break and remember the choices we make are the best ones for our circumstances.
Our dear friend and mother of four, Sharon, sums it up beautifully—‘We all have the same journey, feel the same emotions, the same fears and the same inadequacies. Some of us just take a different path to get there.’ Nor are you alone on that trek. We all have meltdowns, days we can’t manage, moments we question it all and times when we want to pack it all in and run away. That’s when we need each other. Look at the next mum as your ally in this wholeconvoluted journey. Nurture your true friends. They are on your team and you’ll appreciate them even more on those days that go completely to the dogs.
We’re all juggling and struggling and laughing and crying. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting it. Forget trying to impress, let’s just be honest.
Time is precious, so love every moment with your wonderful children, and nurture every second with your growing family, because it does get easier. You may have to make changes like relaxing on the housework and cutting back on those three course meals you were once famous for—but it will be okay.
Promise us this, you won’t forget to stop and enjoy the fairy floss once in a while—the laundry can always wait.